


Wonderless Destiny

by MFLuder



Category: Stargate SG-1
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Light Angst, Schmoop
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-01
Updated: 2019-03-01
Packaged: 2019-11-07 07:35:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17956307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MFLuder/pseuds/MFLuder
Summary: It washer. He couldn’t get her off his mind. He hadn’t been able to since the start, but it was worse now.





	Wonderless Destiny

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted April 29, 2007, at [my DW](https://mf-luder-xf.dreamwidth.org/111908.html).

Darkness covered the earth in a way he found very comforting. Too many deserts, too many green planets, too many suns; one could develop the desire for a peaceful night. Stars were blinking in the sky above, but they were dim in the town limits.

He wasn’t sure what he was doing. It’d been a tough week at SGC, but not entirely atypical. Endless hordes of Jaffa bent on their deaths, several Goa’ulds bent on their destruction, and even a few not-so friendly humanoid-like beings who would have liked nothing better than to storm the Earth gate for its precious metals.

That wasn’t bothering him, though. 

This week alone, SGC had lost three good men and two scientists to staff weapons and a bizarre alien disease, respectively. Janet hadn’t even been able to get through the gate before the scientists were dead. Sergeant Raines had suffered a mental breakdown and she was locked in the government’s top mental institution.

That wasn’t bothering him, either.

Daniel had somehow managed to mistake a translation and wound up victim to several humiliating, albeit hilarious, alien rituals on P2X-555 and had been sulking ever since Thursday. There was nothing worse than a sulky Daniel who wouldn’t move from his office except to shuffle to the mess for coffee and eat the cookies Carter deliberately asked the cooks to make, attempting to pull him out of his funk.

But that wasn’t it.

It wasn’t the bad burrito from Friday or the case of spring ennui he usually suffered from.

He floored the gas pedal. 

It was her. He couldn’t get her off his mind. He hadn’t been able to since the start, but it was worse now. After. And after the…end.

He didn’t want to believe it. He _couldn’t_. It didn’t feel right. And he ached for her somewhere he hadn’t since Charlie. Since Sarah left.

He slammed the flat of his palm against the steering wheel, making an abrupt turn. 

He’d been driving since seven that night, three hours of aimless wandering, thinking, and grinding his teeth because he didn’t want to think. Didn’t want to feel and wasn’t this why he’d shut himself off before Abydos? But he’d let Daniel worm his way in under his skin and it seemed his friendly neighborhood archeologist had left a gaping hole any bewitching blonde could get through. Especially ones who could potentially kill him with their minds.

He rolled down his window and felt the cool Colorado air, thick with the scent of mountains, wash over his face. It was once his head felt clear he realized just where he was. Sighing, he went back a few blocks, dropping his truck off at a playground parking lot before making his way on foot.

Standing in the driveway, he saw a single light on in the living room and knew she would be there, probably reading a journal or maybe _Old Man’s War_ , her recent for-fun book. She was probably in her polar fleece, cream-colored robe, waiting to finish the chapter or article before heading to bed.

He walked up the steps and, bracing his hands alongside the doorframe, took a breath before tapping out a light knock.

A moment later, she opened the door, wearing her robe just like he thought, hair tied back from her face and bangs flopping attractively over her brow.

“Colonel,” she said, looking confused.

“Yeah. I know it’s late.”

“We agreed…”

They’d agreed on a lot of things. One being that it would always be “Colonel,” or “Sir,” and “Carter.” That it would never happen on a mission. On and on; numerous rules that had Jack as a CO relieved but Jack as a man frustrated beyond belief.

This last “agreement” had been to call it quits. Finish it. Never again, they’d said.

“I know. I know.” He raised his head, taking in her creamy skin, broad cheekbones and sharp gaze. She was beautiful. “I just. I can’t stop thinking about you.”

That was all he was willing to say. They didn’t speak; _he_ didn’t speak. He couldn’t make the words come out right. But she’d always been able to read him, and he hoped this time would be the same.

She sighed, turning away and biting at her full lower lip. He wanted to kiss her. _Now_.

“Can I come in at least?” He made a nod of his head at the street.

“You’d better not, sir.”

He blinked. “Excuse me?”

“Sir, we agreed. It’s too dangerous. It’s too…I can’t keep restarting this and then having to stop. I don’t want to-”

“Carter,” he interrupted.

She looked at him and he stepped forward, wrapping his arms around her and taking her mouth possessively, kicking the door shut behind him, all in one fell swoop.

By the time he let her up for air, her hands were clenched in his baggy jacket and he could tell her knees were feeling shaky from the way she leaned into him. His own were feeling the same way. Came with the bad-knees territory, was all.

“Sir,” she murmured before leaning in for another kiss, and he’d be lying if he said he didn’t find that sort of hot.

He backed them to her room, each dropping clothing as they went. By the time they reached her bed, it was skin on skin and he cradled her hip in one hand, cheek in the other.

“Beautiful…”

He let himself get reacquainted with her body, how it reacted to him, responded to his every touch. She was too far gone to make even a token protest as he slipped a hand between runner’s thighs, covering her collarbone with kisses as he brought her to completion.

When he slipped inside of her, it was with permission and tenderness, belied by strong muscles. He wouldn’t have it any other way. He loved her strength, her tenacity, even her stubbornness. As she came for the second time, he swallowed his own name from her lips.

A few minutes later, he reached back over, smoothing the white skin of her hip with his thumb. He nibbled at her shoulder until she gently pushed him back.

“Colonel, we can’t keep doing this.”

“Why the hell not?” he questioned, and his hand gripped a little harder on her hip.

“You know why,” she said bitterly, rolling away from him. She sat up, pulling the sheet about her as she stared out the window. “We’ll get caught, and I’ll be damned if I ruin your career—or mine.”

“Is that all this is about? Or is there something else?” he questioned right back, also sitting up.

“I don’t even want to grace that stupid question with an answer, _sir_.”

He rubbed at his face with his hands making a face before taking a deep breath. “You’re right. That was out of line.”

“We have to promise not to do this again.” She sounded incredibly small at that moment and he hated, _hated_ hearing her like that.

“I can’t. I don’t make promises I can’t keep.”

She kept her back to him, shoulders slumped. He reached out, getting up on his knees behind her and resting his chin on one shoulder as he caressed her arms.

“I don’t want to make or keep that promise. I’ll keep coming back. You know it. And I know, if I hadn’t this time, you would have eventually. It’s just, we’re just…” he trailed off, unsure.

“What?” she asked. He could hear the sad smirk in her tone. “It’s love? Lust? It’s destiny?”

“It just is,” he reiterated. “I wouldn’t want it any other way.”

She nodded before turning around.

“I can’t get enough of you,” he whispered, awed by the way she outshone any woman he’d seen.

She ran her lips over the stubble on his chin, nuzzling at his ear before soft breath whispered over his own lips.

“Neither can I.”

**Author's Note:**

> I drove for miles and miles and wound up at your door  
> I’ve had you so many times, but somehow I want more--She Will Be Loved, Maroon 5
> 
> Follow and chat with me [on tumblr](http://mf-luder-xf.tumblr.com)!


End file.
